New Year.

Many witches and pagans will celebrate their New Year at Samhain.  Many will celebrate at Samhain and at the beginning of the Calendar New Year.  I fall into the latter category, having spent my life surrounded by non witchy people it always just feels as easy to begin my year on January 1st.  I do however, begin witchy projects at Smahain, given that this is traditionally the witches New Year.

For my "normal" life January 1st makes much more sense for a New Year as that is when the western world is celebrating and beginning afresh.  There are things to sort out in my "normal" life that cannot be started in early November.  There are home education projects, lesson plans and so on that make more sense to begin in January.  Pretty much everything in my life that is not connected to witchcraft falls in with the usual New Year because my witchy beliefs are still very much in the closet - my real life is not ready to have my MIL, among others, knowing about my beliefs.

I have been asked in the past if I feel cheated because I am not openly sharing my beliefs, but the answer is no.  I can honestly say that being very private about my witchyness does not bother me in the slightest.  And because I was brought up celebrating Xmas, New Year and Easter, I continue to do so with my family - even though they know I don't celebrate with the Christian meanings.  They also know that I have my own little rituals I do on certain sabbats and they respect that.
For many years my parents hosted a New Year's party, so it would of been kind of hard not to get caught up in the celebrations without having to reveal why I wasn't getting involved.  I guess it is a matter of what you are used to, what you are prepared to tolerate and what you absolutely must do yourself.

I always say that whatever feels right for you, deep down inside of you, in your heart, is the right thing to do for you.  Even if this seems at odds with other witches and pagans, so long as you aren't deliberately hurting another then you are doing just fine.
I think living in a city that has almost no pagan presence has shaped the way I am.  Of course I know there are other witches and pagans around, but they obviously want to remain anonymous for the time being and I can understand that.
So this New Year's Eve I am going to be planning for my "normal" life, seeing what and who is no longer relevant and performing whatever rituals and meditations I need to help me on my way.

Whatever your beliefs, however and whenever you celebrate, I wish you a joyous New Year and hope that 2012 is kind to you.

Taking time out.

Not all of us witches only celebrate Yule.  There are good many of us who, for whatever reason, celebrate Xmas with our families.  If like me you have other gatherings to attend over the festive period you can find yourself becoming very frazzled very quickly.

Don't forget to take time out for yourself whenever you can.  I find it invaluable as I do find holiday family time quite trying.  The easiest way to do this is to have a long soak in your bath.  If this is out of the question, or even if you have done this, you can also meditate - it doesn't have to be a long meditation, a few minutes visualising yourself in a peaceful setting can do wonders for our frazzled nerves.

Go on, have a few minutes to yourself, you've earned it.

Comments Enabled.

I have been asked by some of you why I do not allow comments on the blog.  Some of you are already aware of that answer, some obviously not.

A few years ago I had a blog and allowed comments on it.  Everything was fine for a while but then someone I thought was a good friend took exception to something someone said about me - it was a lovely comment for the record - and the derogatory comments started.  I removed them, but it got so bad that in the end I only allowed comments for people who were publicly following my blog.  This did not stop the abuse however and in the end I closed my blog.

When I started a new blog I did not allow comments because obviously I had really had enough the last time, the abuse really was hurtful, and although I am a strong person, it was still very hurtful.  I know the person who was responsible, I emailed her, messaged her, I even rang her up to ask her to stop being such a pain.  For my sins I got another three years of abuse, her claiming I was bullying her.  She told so many lies about me I lost friends - not friends locally, but online friends.  When my brother was dying she told her cronies I was lying about it and I was fishing for sympathy.  Of course she was proven to be a liar then because many people saw what was being posted on my FB wall from local friends and family.

I haven't spoken to her for quite a while now, and I have even cut all ties with our mutual friends.  I figured that if I wasn't good enough then, I most certainly will never be good enough.  Besides, they couldn't have been any kind of friends because they would never have acted like they did.
I have moved on from that time and that crowd, but when I started this blog I felt the same sick feeling welling up inside of me with regards to allowing comments.  Unless you have been subjected to the appalling abuse that some people feel the need to direct others I don't think you can appreciate just how overly cautious this can make a person.

Because there have been many queries regarding comments I have decided that maybe it is time to trust again.  Given that I have nothing to do with this person and her chums anymore might be enough to finally be able to have a blog without having to constantly remove spite and hatred everyday.  I have set the blog to allow comments, but not the anyone option.  Maybe this will need to be changed again to that particular setting, I don't know, we will have to see.
But if the abuse does start up again I will close the comments back down as I am not prepared to put up with that again.  I am not talking about constructive criticism, or someone disagreeing with viewpoint here, I am talking full on abuse, there is a huge difference.

So, if you feel the need to comment on what I have to say, go ahead.

Promoting my witchy self.

For a while now I have been wondering how best to promote my blog, after trying and failing with twitter and a couple of other social media sites.  On Boxing Day it occurred to me that I might as well try a Facebook Page for this blog.  I ummed and ahhed for a while, not sure if I should take the plunge, but then I finally thought it was the best option for me.

I fail at promoting on twitter because I have non witchy family and friends on there and it is kind of awkward when they have no idea about my witchy beliefs.  The same reason applies on my facebook account, although I did try having a witchy one, but that didn't work out.  I attempted google+ but always forget to update there, so the FB page seemed like the best option.

You can find it here. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Eclectic-City-Witch/140275069418215

Being grateful.

At our shindig yesterday the topic of awful Xmas presents came up.  It would seem almost everybody receives a gift that they truly loathe.  I don't though.  I often find myself wondering what the person was thinking when they bought such an item, but over the years I have learnt to appreciate every gift I receive.

Any unwanted gifts, or maybe that should read any gifts I have no use for personally, I either give to a friend or family member becuase they need it much more, or I keep it for a gift for another person for their birthday, Xmas etc.  Sometimes I have even donated these items to a charity - they can definitely use them.

It can seem quite insulting when you receive a really awful gift, but before you hit the roof and blow a gasket with the gift giver think about how else you can use the gift.  And if you really feel you want to receive something from the gift giver, you can always treat yourself to something inexpensive instead; a cup of coffee at a coffee shop, or have a meal or takeaway. Of course you may be happy knowing that your donation of the gift has brought joy to someone else.

Practising gratitude in such a way does wonders for your self esteem, you really do feel a sense of having done something wonderful.

The Holiday Season.

I don't know about anyone else but the holiday season leaves me feeling so exhausted.  Up until last Xmas we always had family round for afternoon tea, this was after getting up at silly o clock with the kids and then making the huge lunch.  After being told I had Fibro last year I decided I was not going to make my life hard anymore and so we told family we would be having nobody round on the big day, but would have a day where they could come for a party.

Today was that day.  It was a very stressful day - getting food prepared, picking certain guests up and then being cramped in my small house with an extra 9 people.  Don't get me  wrong, we had a good time, but there are always certain energies left over after my MIL has been to my house.  For a long time I used to struggle with restless nights, disturbed dreams and a general uneasy feeling after MIL had been round.  Then I discovered burning incense really did remove the left over energies from her.
She really is one of those nasty people that never has a good word to say about anybody, and if you have an illness then she has it fifty times worse than you.  She also MUST be the centre of attention and this can make for unpleasantness during family functions.

After she has left though I arm myself with incense - and usually it is any fragrance that I feel I really want to use - and waft it about the areas shehas been and then leave it burning.

Parties should be good fun and give off positive vibes, but MIL really does give off such a vibe that if left can cause problems.  Now I feel able to face gatherings such as this one as I know how best to deal with the problem.

Boxing Day Blues.

I used to always suffer with the Boxing Day blues.  As my husband is non witchy and it is only recently that the DD's have become involved - DS shows a slight interest - I have always done Yule as a solitary and celebrated Xmas with them.
We celebrate the togetherness of our family.

Boxing Day used to feel like such an anti climax and I could very often feel down.  But now I use the time to sort my diaries and calanders out for the coming new year.  I jot down any notable dates that have not been included, mark moon phases in if they haven,t been included and do my best to start the new year organised.

This may seem very boring  to some, but I find it quite relaxing after the stresses and starins and  inevitable over induklgence of the festive period.  I enjoy doing it and always feel quite refreshed afterwards.