Tuesday, 8 January 2013


Last  night I had a really odd dream - this is nothing new I hasten to add.  The dream centred around a woman I have had a difficult relationship with; we were friends for a while and then all of a sudden she started acting off with me.  I would say we are OK - ish - now, so for the dream to have occurred left me quite startled.

In my dream she was sat dead centre on a bed.  She was wearing white leggings and either a long black tunic with a sleeveless top, or a sleeveless top, a black t.shirt and a short black skirt, I really couldn't tell.  I entered her room - you know how it is with dreams, you instinctively know something to be true  - and she turned to look at me, smiling a wonderfully, warm and welcoming smile.
What was odd though, was her hair was cropped and it was dark.  Now I am not entirely sure what her natural hair colour is, I do believe it is the shade she was in my dream.  In all the time I have known her she has always had her hair dyed different colours.  That her hair was her natural colour was not what came across as odd to me though.  What made me think "oh, that was odd"  when I woke up was that this woman was very natural, her hair colour, her very short hair, her clothing was "normal" compared to what she usually wears and her entire demeanor.  She does dress a lot differently, her hair is long and a different colour and how she acts is very different to the dream her.

My gut instinct on this is that my dream vision of her was showing me the real her.  The feeling I had was that she is so different to who she portrays herself to be and only those closest to her get to see this version of her.  The version of her I saw in my dream radiated peace and love and an inner beauty.  I think I needed to see this version of her, or at least be made aware of it as I have had a pretty hard slog with her, she can be difficult at the best of times.
According to sources, this dream is symbolising the real her and suggesting she is a beautifully warm and loyal person.  Perhaps I need reminding of that for some reason and I would like to think that the  next time I bump into her and she is being crabby I am not witnessing the real her.

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Angel card for today.

My angel card for today is Freedom. Freedom comes when you learn to let go. You can't always please others.

Oh how very true!

I need to get on with some things and this requires me to dedicate my time to my pursuits. Family demands are as overwhelming as ever, leaving me no time to get on with what I need to do. Until yesterday when I refused to get involved with all of the dramas and demands. I shut myself in my room and wrote and worked away and achieved so much.

Of course as I lay in bed last night I worried myself silly over my refusal to put my pursuits on hold to deal with their pursuits. I worried I was being selfish. But now I feel they are the ones being selfish, always expecting me to not do my own thing so I can settle an argument, or let them unburden their woes onto me.

Quite frankly, I've had enough. They are old enough to deal with their own stuff and nothing was so important that I had to be there or involved. Drawing this card has reassured me that I am doing the right thing in letting them deal with their own dramas and getting on with my own stuff. I'm always there for big emergencies, or if it is something important. I always make time for them, but just of late they want all of my time, always.

Very apt card for my life right now.

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Book Recommendations.

  I am an avid reader.  I have books everywhere in my house.  It has gotten so bad that I have a kindle app on my android tablet - which has masses of books on it - as well as on my phone and pc.  I have recently acquired a kobo glo too.  I would go so far as to say one of my biggest passions is reading.
  I take an awful lot of stick off friends as I have to admit, I love to read romance novels, even Mills And Boon.  I have so many of that genre, but I just laugh it all off, I don't really care.  As long as the book has a good storyline to it I am not fussed what genre it falls in to.
  I do try to read mainly positive stuff though, I hate reading something that is going to upset me, disturb me or disgust me.  I don't really like storylines that have very unhappy themes to them, and there is nothing worse than enjoying a book only to have everything fall apart for the characters at the end, unless of course the author plans a sequel.

  A while back I made a start on reviewing some of the books I have read, but seem to have got out of the habit of doing that.  I have decided to start that up again, choosing what to write up about is proving to be difficult though.  I was going to go right into a review of a book I have already read, but then I got to thinking, perhaps it would be better if I read something completely new and then review.  I know, I know, it makes more sense to do exactly that, but I sometimes miss the obvious with my enthusiasm
  So, my book review- the first one for this year - is:

Brilliant Book Of Calm: Down To Earth Ideas For Finding Inner Peace In A Chaotic World (52 Brilliant Ideas)  - Author - Tania Ahsan.

My version was free on kindle.

I love self help books, but I have to admit that I rarely follow up on the advice that they give.  The moment I started reading this I actually began to jot down a few of her ideas.  One of my favourites was to have a no news day.  I have been struggling with positivity for some time now and even when I am doing my best to get a grip on it I would find that the news depressed me.  I have a habit of putting the TV on and switching a news channel, muting it, but leaving it on in the background while I go about my business.  Even with no sound the images can be very graphic and play on our emotions, bringing our moods down.  So the idea of a news ban - even if for just one day - was very appealing to me.  I decided to go with a Sunday, initially, as that is the day we do not get a local paper here - I am extremely nosy and did not think I could get by without reading up on what was happening in my local area.
I have to admit this has worked so well for me that I often never put the TV on now unless I am prepared to watch it.  If I feel I need it on, I either have a music channel on very low or will have a sports news channel on - I know it's news but it is nowhere near as depressing as death, destruction, disease being broadcast at you 24/7.

Another thing that I really loved about this book is the way the author does not take herself too seriously.  I often read self help books and feel as though some of the authors are talking at you rather than giving you tips on how to manage your life.  Tania Ahsan made everything sound such fun and easy to do that I felt compelled to try her tips and ideas out immediately.  I did not feel like a naughty child being scolded, the book came across like a conversation with a good friend, and for me that is the type of self help bok that will kick me into action.

After each tip Tania follows up with "Here's an idea for you"  which is a way to bring that tip into being for yourself.  This in turn is followed up by a "defining idea" which is a quote that a famous person has said, and then finally, that is followed up by a question and answer relating to that particular tip; where people have struggled to follow her advice and she gives a different viewpoint on the tip, or on how the person has tried to go about incorporating that tip.

The entire book is so laid back and relaxed you almost forget it is self help.  It feels friendly and approachable and is free on kindle right now, so what more could you ask for?  This is one self help book I have thoroughly enjoyed and am having no problem with the ideas and tips on how to improve my life.  I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it and cannot recommend it enough.

A must read!

Friday, 4 January 2013

First week all but done.

Having had a really awful couple of years I have been striving for some lightness in my life. Life is still determined to throw obstacles up and one in particular is vey emotionally draining. However, I started this year determined to take a different view on my life and world around me and have been all out embracing positivity.

The first week of the new year is all but done and I am relieved to say I have survived with my positivity in check.
Normally I have what my kids call a meh at this point in the year; the festivities are over, the magical time is over and here in Northern England it is dull and grey, either raining or just grey clouds every day. The world around me can feel very depressing, often lending to the feelings of woe that can go hand in hand with the first few weeks of the new year.
But I've survived with my sanity and humour intact and despite the niggling situations, I remain determined to stay positive.

Here's to more positivity and light.