Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Valentine's Day

You may have heard, it's Valentine's Day.

I do celebrate Valentine's Day.  I don't fall victim to the commercialism of it all, though if people choose to then that is up to them.  On my FB timeline I have four categories of people; those who are still trapped by the commercialism, or quite happy to pay into it - my husband's cousin, for instance, has bought his wife a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine, flowers, a card and booked them an overnight stay in a fancy hotel.  Clearly he has a point to prove - they have two kids, they both work but aren't that well off.  She is made up with the gesture,she is quite smug about it actually.

Then there are people like me and DH.  We agree a price, buy a nice card from our local market - usually costs around 50p - buy each other something we want, ranging from a book, or CD/DVD/console game, to a corny teddy bear.  It all just depends.  It is a good few years since I have had flowers.  Not because DH is mean, but because I would rather he bought me a plant for my garden, which is what he does now.  I can go back to that plant in years to come and know that it was a gift on this day, whereas a bunch of overpriced flowers will wither and die within a few days.
We never go out for a meal, again prices going up and crowds of people put us off.  We have always either had a takeaway or cooked, generally the latter.

The next category of people are those who can't help but shout it out for all to hear, that they don't do Valentine's anymore because it is so commercialised.  They then castigate those of us who do and rant on that they don't need this day to remind themselves why they love their other half.  They shove it down our throats about how they are far more superior to us who want to actually celebrate this day in our own way, they spend the entire day posting updates on any of the social media networks, or in general conversation harping on about how they have wised up.

The last category are those who don't celebrate - either because they just don't bother, or because they have no one to share it with.  They'll be in two smaller categories, those who just get on with it because it doesn't bother them either way, or because they can't change the fact that they have nobody.  They just aren't making a big song and dance over it.
Then there are the other category of this group, who moan about everyone who has got someone, just because they haven't.

Obviously I come into the second group, like so many others.  We celebrate in a way that fits our budget, in a way that isn't too showy; in a way that is pretty low key.  I choose to do it this way because I feel I want to use this day to take time to think about my relationship and pay homage to it.  I feel that a day like this is special to us, as a couple, not because we don't have the other 364 days to be nice to each other, but because we choose to.  Like many other couples, we don't always get time to celebrate.  And that's just it, this is the 21st century where life is so fast paced that even when we do promise to be good to each other and make time for each other, the reality of life often means these promises go unfulfilled.  And despite our best efforts to make the time, it is often impossible to achieve.
That is why I have never minded this day.  A day where we may feel forced to acknowledge our relationship, but if we do things our own way, minus the pressure of having to spend a small fortune on flowers and chocolates and wine, and over priced meals, or night's in hotels, then we can maybe start to realise that it is us that is important.
When we reach this conclusion, that we don't have to spend any money on anything for each other, unless we choose to, we may also start to realise that other materialistic things are irrelevant and we may just find time for each other, whether it be Valentine's Day or not.

You know, this argument about needing to realise that there are 364 other days - 365 in Leap Year's - wears a bit thin when you get to my age.  You know that every day you have together is precious.  You know that you celebrate in your own way and why you do it, or you know why you don't  and you don't feel the need to tell everyone why, you just do it.  You understand that this one day is overhyped but you either don't care and enjoy it, or you ignore the hype and do your own thing.  You become less fussed about presents and just enjoy the present of your lover's company.  Yes, there are 364/365 other days in a year to declare your love for one another, but for Taurean's like me, it's great to have a day where you can get caught up in all of the love.  It's a special day because people are determined to make it so and that's why it stands out from the rest of the year.  It's a universal love day.

Happy Universal Love Day dear readers.  Thank you for reading my nonsense.  Love to you all.


1 comment:

  1. We used to give each other something small- a seed head, a leaf, who needs to spend on cards?!